The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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