clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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