turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
