hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
