terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
