And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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