Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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