I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
