why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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