If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
