Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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