he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
