is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
