You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
