I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
