You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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