You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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