How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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