He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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