nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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