You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
