moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
