My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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