escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
