I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
