All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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