there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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