boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
