You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
