She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
