Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
