Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
