i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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