I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
