Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
