If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
