The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
