You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am one with the molecules
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
