I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
