I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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