She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
