before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
