you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
