No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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