By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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