I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
