I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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