I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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