I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
