you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
