Can Purell be used as lube?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
