It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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